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Summer Holidays next. Columbia University Press. Journal of Homosexuality. Retrieved 17 March Gay Star News.

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The New Yorker. The term can be useful for making a distinction with radical feminists who do not share the same position, but those at whom it is directed consider it a slur.

The Economist. It has struggled to gain stability since the end of a civil war in , and when it does hit the international headlines, it's mainly this image that is portrayed.

When she was a teenager, Nella dreamed of going to university. But her family were constantly urging her to get married.

They would introduce her to members of the extended family, in the hope they could find a match. When her parents died, Nella's brothers increased the pressure.

There was no money for an education, they said, and besides they didn't believe a woman needed one. They knew of a rich man who was interested in her.

There was little time to lose, they insisted. At 20 she was getting on a bit. As a woman from a country like hers, Nella says her rights were already diminished.

The couple barely communicated and she dreaded intimacy. After the birth of her youngest child, Nella says she began to feel like the most isolated woman in the world.

She doesn't want to go into much detail about her marriage. She turned to social media and carried out searches for women who like women. Suddenly, she realised she was not alone.

What she discovered was that there is a shorthand, a secret code, that local lesbian women use to reach out to each other. It largely relies on internet shorthand, obscure symbols used by lesbians around the world.

Nella would send these images and emoticons to other women. Those in the know would respond. Buoyed by what she found, Nella began connecting with women online.

Women like her. Women who soon became her closest friends. In , her husband found out about these conversations and her marriage broke down.

He vowed to keep her sexuality a secret from the wider community for the sake of their children. We are just one part of it.

She was brought up by strict parents in a suburban neighbourhood of Bujumbura. She and her siblings had to be home earlier than their friends.

Niya had to dress conservatively and was expected to act in a demure way. Niya preferred friendships with boys but these never developed into crushes.

At 14, she became a Christian. Thinking that part of her faith meant that she should avoid dating, she put her lack of romantic interest in boys down to a commitment to God.

At 22, she met a woman who was also in her early 20s, through mutual friends. Bonding over their love of music, they formed a fast friendship. Back at home, thinking about what had happened, Niya realised that she had feelings for her friend.

The pair began to date in secret. It had nothing to do with religion. Two years later, Niya felt she had to tell one person in her immediate family.

She chose one of her brothers. She had looked up YouTube videos of lesbian vloggers in other parts of the world.

She watched films featuring same-sex couples and read a lot of reports on lesbian, bisexual and queer LBQ communities. She began to understand the language of the internet.

The BBC messaged Niya to tell her that we would be using images of a violet to illustrate the memes. We chose the symbol - which differs vastly from the symbols the women use - because lesbian women in the s were said to give violets to their girlfriends.

Watching the YouTube videos had confirmed to Niya that she was not alone. But where were the other gay women in Burundi? Leila had grown up in a loving, supportive middle-class family in Bujumbura city.

She was popular. She had a boyfriend. After months of thinking about her continuously, she needed to share her feelings. Leila texted the friend. The two agreed to draw a line under the embarrassing episode.

Relieved, Leila put her months of infatuation down to a phase. It had been a one-off crush, with one woman.

I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase. I said I would. So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy.

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Her curled black hair is visible and falling on her shoulders. Both women beam megawatt, toothy smiles. It feels good. Someone who knows her family may see her.

But she's sure she won't be recognised, because when she goes to meet her girlfriend, she removes the hijab she wears at home.

Nella was 17 years old when she fell in love with a girl for the first time. They met through sport — something Nella had been passionate about since she was a young girl.

She was from a conservative Muslim family. Dating was not an option, let alone with a woman. Nella was born in the city of Bujumbura, the capital of Burundi.

The country, which is one of the world's poorest, is located in the African Great Lakes region. It has struggled to gain stability since the end of a civil war in , and when it does hit the international headlines, it's mainly this image that is portrayed.

When she was a teenager, Nella dreamed of going to university. But her family were constantly urging her to get married.

They would introduce her to members of the extended family, in the hope they could find a match. When her parents died, Nella's brothers increased the pressure.

There was no money for an education, they said, and besides they didn't believe a woman needed one. They knew of a rich man who was interested in her.

There was little time to lose, they insisted. At 20 she was getting on a bit. As a woman from a country like hers, Nella says her rights were already diminished.

The couple barely communicated and she dreaded intimacy. After the birth of her youngest child, Nella says she began to feel like the most isolated woman in the world.

She doesn't want to go into much detail about her marriage. She turned to social media and carried out searches for women who like women.

Suddenly, she realised she was not alone. What she discovered was that there is a shorthand, a secret code, that local lesbian women use to reach out to each other.

It largely relies on internet shorthand, obscure symbols used by lesbians around the world. Nella would send these images and emoticons to other women.

Those in the know would respond. Buoyed by what she found, Nella began connecting with women online. Women like her. Women who soon became her closest friends.

In , her husband found out about these conversations and her marriage broke down. He vowed to keep her sexuality a secret from the wider community for the sake of their children.

We are just one part of it. She was brought up by strict parents in a suburban neighbourhood of Bujumbura. She and her siblings had to be home earlier than their friends.

Niya had to dress conservatively and was expected to act in a demure way. Niya preferred friendships with boys but these never developed into crushes.

At 14, she became a Christian. Thinking that part of her faith meant that she should avoid dating, she put her lack of romantic interest in boys down to a commitment to God.

At 22, she met a woman who was also in her early 20s, through mutual friends. Bonding over their love of music, they formed a fast friendship.

Back at home, thinking about what had happened, Niya realised that she had feelings for her friend. The pair began to date in secret. It had nothing to do with religion.

Two years later, Niya felt she had to tell one person in her immediate family. She chose one of her brothers.

She had looked up YouTube videos of lesbian vloggers in other parts of the world. She watched films featuring same-sex couples and read a lot of reports on lesbian, bisexual and queer LBQ communities.

She began to understand the language of the internet. The BBC messaged Niya to tell her that we would be using images of a violet to illustrate the memes.

We chose the symbol - which differs vastly from the symbols the women use - because lesbian women in the s were said to give violets to their girlfriends.

Watching the YouTube videos had confirmed to Niya that she was not alone. But where were the other gay women in Burundi? Leila had grown up in a loving, supportive middle-class family in Bujumbura city.

She was popular. She had a boyfriend. After months of thinking about her continuously, she needed to share her feelings. Leila texted the friend. The two agreed to draw a line under the embarrassing episode.

Relieved, Leila put her months of infatuation down to a phase. It had been a one-off crush, with one woman. I cried. We convinced ourselves it was a phase.

I said I would. So I dumped him and started dating a cute guy. But when he looked at her quizzically, she says the full realisation of who she is hit her.

I am a lesbian, Leila told herself. But she still hoped there would be a way out of it. She prayed. She meditated. She became angry with herself.

You have the moment when you realise that there is no going back. This is you. You are gay. Your plans and expectations for what you thought life would be need to adjust.

Then there is the second coming out, the public coming out, to the people around you. When she came out to herself, Leila began to look for other gay people.

She doubted there would be women like her in Burundi, but she searched videos on Facebook and YouTube seeking lesbians in other countries.

Initially her mother took it badly. But as the days passed she began to ask more questions. The family agreed that as a lesbian woman in Burundi, Leila was already in a vulnerable position.

They could protect her while she was in the family home, but they could not guarantee her safety outside if the wrong people found out.

There was a shorthand, a recognition. If she knew what she was doing was dangerous, why did she do it? It gets to a point where it overwhelms you and you let it happen.

Neither of us thought things would end as they did. In the early hours there was a fight downstairs and the police were called.

Angel still doesn't know the details of what happened, but once they arrived the police went room to room and found Angel and Kim in bed together.

They were both naked, the situation was obvious. The first police to arrive yanked back the bedsheets and prevented the two women from getting dressed.

They called for others down the hall to come and have a look. Sex between two men is a criminal act in Zimbabwe but technically being a lesbian is not an arrestable offence.

Instead, the police will mete out "instant justice", says Angel. She remembers seeing a student at her high school being beaten for being a suspected ngochani - a derogatory word for a lesbian.

When passers-by learned why she was being attacked they stopped to throw a punch at her bloodied body themselves. The police stood idly by and did nothing.

In fact Angel says they were scrutinising how people reacted and felt she had no choice but to walk past stony-faced, screaming on the inside.

It is dangerous to live openly as a gay person. As Angel and Kim struggled to get dressed, the police kicked the women with their heavy boots and beat them with their batons.

Kim was the most vocal and shielded Angel from the brunt of the violence that came at them in a frenzy. She ran home and threw some things into a rucksack.

Terrified that the police could be right behind her she didn't dare stop to say goodbye to her sleeping daughter and mother.

Angel knocked on the door of a local pastor and family friend, asking for refuge just for the night. But he didn't want to help her.

A minibus took her across the border to South Africa but with xenophobic attacks against migrants on the rise she was advised to leave.

Angel put herself in the hands of an underground network of people getting asylum-seekers to safe countries. A charity covered the cost of false documents and arranged her passage to the UK via a flight to France and eventually a lorry from Calais to Dover.

Hiding in the back of the lorry, Angel felt terrified and her resolve began to falter. She knew nobody in the UK and nothing about the place. She repeated in her mind the reassurance the smugglers had given her.

But when Angel's Home Office interview was over she began to doubt this. She trudged back to the train station and cried in a toilet cubicle.

Home Office statistics point to worsening prospects for asylum seekers making a bid for UK protection on the basis of sexual orientation.

But at the same time, the number of successful appeals went up. The university is carrying out a research project into sexual orientation and gender identity-based claims of asylum across Europe SOGICA and she is focusing on UK experiences.

If someone is refused asylum they have 14 days to appeal against the decision. Angel's appeal was heard at a court tribunal in She remembers feeling embarrassed and invisible as the men in the room spoke across her, weighing up whether or not she deserved asylum.

The judge decided that yes, she was a lesbian and yes, she had been raped. But he was not convinced that the rape was carried out because she was a lesbian - "corrective rape".

Therefore, it would not be "unduly harsh" for her to relocate to another part of Zimbabwe, said the judge. Since coming to the UK, Angel had been having counselling for PTSD and was making good progress but the judge's decision renewed her sense of despair.

On her first night with nowhere to sleep it felt safest to board a night-bus and ride it back and forth until daylight.

In her mind she replayed her Home Office interview over and over and thought about what she could have said to make them believe her.

I felt like I had let my daughter down. Guilt and grief about leaving her daughter behind plagues Angel day and night - she feels it in her stomach.

Not to have said goodbye. To have missed her first day at school. To see WhatsApp photos of her looking skinny and dishevelled. After losing her housing Angel spent the next 18 months relying on people from her church for a place to sleep at night.

Often she would look after their children or do domestic work in exchange. They knew I was vulnerable and had nowhere to sleep.

There were moments when Angel wondered whether she was right to escape from Zimbabwe. At her lowest she contemplated suicide.

To see people who weren't even gay come to support. There was just too much love.

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